Driving through, in the midst of chaos

At the Eastfield Literary Festival with
Meg Tuite and JP Reese

I returned yesterday, late. To the right is a post-reading pic from the Eastfield College Literary Festival. It was an amazing time and, more, I had amazing company.

JP Reese (left) is a poet and prose writer; she read Wednesday night and again on Thursday with me and Meg. I had the pleasure of being there for both readings. This woman is dynamite. Read her. I learned a lot from watching her work the mic, introducing each poem with a charmingly-told, emotionally-rich story that offered the audience a private glimpse into her writing process and life, and this is such a gift.

Meg Tuite (right) came just before the reading, and though I didn't have much time with her, I was starstruck. Tuite is a flash master, and her reading was dynamic in that she had everything. Everything! Her stories covered topics and perspectives as wide ranging as the graphic nature of the dairy industry to a pondering of life and illness and strength to a humorous portrayal of a Wonder Woman admirer, delightfully awkward and endearing. Hilarious.

It was a pleasure reading with these ladies, and hanging out with them, however fleetingly. I'm always too busy. With class, work, writing, and home, I never seem to stay at the good stuff long enough. This is something I need to work on. Claiming my time. Because times like these last two days are invaluable. I'm realizing that more and more as I age: the good must be soaked in.

But as I made the long trek back from the reading, I passed the site of the explosions in West, Texas. As I drove home, I heard more news about the terrorism in Massachusetts. As I drove home, I became overwhelmed.

This week, the news has appeared an episode of Homeland. The sensationalism of the reportage has been over the top, as has the actual news and speculation. Unbelievable chaos and sadness. Who knows how to act? What to say?

The Watertown and Boston area make a strong community; I got that from the news, the people, and after unreal shoot-outs, after the Watertown community was on lock-down for a day, after his standoff on a boat with no one able to see what the remaining terrorist had on him, things are beginning to come back together. They've determined that the remaining suspect is in custody, so the town can begin to heal. But healing must be allowed to occur, and I'm not sure over-reportage is allowing that to happen.

Converse to the sensationalism of the Boston terrorism is another tragedy, the story buried here in the SW. What a horrible time for the good people of West, Texas near Waco. The explosions were were the result of a fertilizer plant malfunction that made the plant blow up, along with nearby homes and people. This accident killed and injured so many people in this small town, stealing from them their homes and possessions.

DFW Scanner on Facebook

On my way driving back from the reading yesterday, I looked for the site and didn't see it. I got stuck in traffic and distracted, began wishing an STD on the driver of the SUV that had just cut me off, then I started thinking about how amazing my life is, and how lucky I was. I slowed down, took back my mean and rather demented wish. He could have the lane.

As I drove, the radio switched from song to the host asking for residents from nearby towns (I was near Waco) to come out and donate anything they had. A caller asked if they needed clothes and the announcer replied (paraphrasing a little): Anything! They'll even need tampons, so throw some of those in, too, girl.

And though it was this one comment, so simple and a little off-center, it was this moment that really struck me. Imagine: to be suddenly be in need of such simple items.

It is now time to heal. But to heal, to support those healing, we have to empathize by asking the tough questions. Can you imagine having so little, so suddenly? Can you imagine being on lock-down in your own home, fearing your life? Can you imagine losing it all in an instant?

I can. I really can. All the more reason to soak in the truly good times.









*Donations for West are coming in from the Red Cross and local charities.
*Donations for the victims and those whose lives have been and are impacted by this terrorism can be given at http://special.patriots.com/offers/index.cfm?UUID=NEPCFDonations and many other places.

$2 lotto ticket

I promised some lit news, so here's that:

New piece in Monkeybicycle: "Don't Tease the Elephants" Thanks, Steven Seighman, for printing my work. I'm honored. This story is particularly special to me because it stars a character I've been using a lot since I was in Vermont. His name is Rattle, and he'll be a regular in a few of my forthcoming fiction publications.

I had an audio piece accepted to Bound Off, which I'm really excited about. Though I'll be reading it myself, and I still have a hint of bad kid from the Short North in my voice--but hey, take it or leave it.

I finally queried an agent. Well see... I'm expecting crickets, but that's one query. One is a start.

I have a piece in Obit, entitled Unlike Loss. Thanks, Matt Potter at Pure Slush! I've worked with Matt a few times, and he is a forward-thinking editor. Glad to be a part of a new collection of his.

My reading at Eastfield College with Joani Reese and Meg Tuite is this Thursday! If you're in the area.... Literary & Fine Arts Festival

And my reflection/confession/whatever for the week:

This week has been interesting. I'm so busy that I have no time to write this blog. I'm so busy that I have no time to write anything else or do a thorough job of any of my work. And yet, I've written and I've blogged, and I think I've done a pretty thorough job of most of what I need to work-wise.

I'm currently taking a break from grading my creative writing students' stories. They're good, which encourages me, and more, they're diverse. This is invaluable feedback to me, as a teacher, because it means that they're finding their own voices. That's one of the most important things, and one of the toughest to balance as a teacher of creative things. After all, how do you teach creativity? I think the secret is, you encourage and offer both suggestions and space.

One of my best students is going through an incredibly tough time and not complaining one bit; he is giving this class his all, and it shows. This student has inspired me already. Meanwhile, I have a few students that are MIA most of the time. I will never understand this, perhaps because I had to work so hard to get to and stay in college. The ones that don't work hard might not realize how valuable this time is. Perhaps they'll come around. I have noticed this a little more in spring than fall courses. I wonder if there's something to that.

My frustration got me thinking about when I was working through college. Personally, I loved school, but along with rent it broke the bank. I remember being in need of more dental work than I could afford along with my books one summer; I was short even on the payment plan my dentist offered. I walked out of the office after scheduling the follow-up appointment that I needed, but I was sure I'd have to cancel. At a convenience store, something compelled me to buy an Ohio State Lottery scratch-off ticket. And no measly $1 deal either; I bought a $2 ticket. I scratched it off and won about $300, which was enough to cover my first payment. I remember thinking how lucky I was. I still think that. Not everyone is. 

In other news, my dog is doing well on his medication still, and the vet said that he's responding as well as possible. He could be with us (with good quality of life) for quite a few months. She also warned that things could get suddenly worse. But for now, we're enjoying life. Between the vet appointments, tests, and medications, we've spent a lot of budgeted money this month. We're broke (not broke in the same way I was in college, but another kind of broke). But, much like my lotto ticket timing, I got unexpected good news. A promotion at work! Assistant Editor to Associate Editor. Right on time and quite unexpected (I had expected a small cost of living increase). Such give and take seems serendipitous, like the current version of my lotto days. Anyway, right now I'm not forgetting; the gratitude is there.

Have an amazing week! And read that Rattle story if you have time. I'm pretty proud of it. And there will be more to come...

Read, Walk, Repeat

Over the weekend, I thought a lot about Vermont but did nothing to prepare. It's less than a month away, and I have quite a bit to do, but it feels years off for some reason. Or maybe it doesn't feel real. So what did I do this weekend instead? Not much, and it was wonderful. I read and I walked. 

Reading:

On my list this weekend was Miranda July's No One Belongs Here More Than You. I bought the book after listening to the "The Swim Team," a short story in this collection, online. That story remains my favorite of the collection. For me, the reading of this book was kind of like buying an entire album because you love a single. July's stories are consistently good, insightful, and oddly humorous; but, I found the novelty of her style lost on subsequent stories. That said, I think this is a book I'll return to, one story at a time. Altogether, the thing blurs. 

I also read Sherman Alexie's Blasphemy because a friend was posting about it on Facebook, and again, I have loved the few short stories I've read by Alexie, and I enjoyed Smoke Signals, but I've never read an entire book of his. I'm only a few stories in, and so far, I rather love this collection. His prose is easy to get lost in. As a reader, I forget the literature of the thing and just enjoy and appreciate; also, I'm consistently caught off-guard by the characters. Alexie has his tells--I can't think about his stories without thinking cling peaches and  tender but distanced male narrators, for instance--but his work feels new and surprises all over again each time I read him. So far, anyway. Also on my reading list this weekend were the January issue of THRUSH, a few stories at Carve, and quite a few articles. 

I read a dozen stories for PANK (I'm back at it, so blame me), and I read two friends' works. Somehow, I also managed to begin watching Game of Thrones (first season). I'm already committed to watch the rest, so I suppose that's an endorsement in of itself, but will reserve judgement until I get through Season I. 

Walking: 

Along with my modest workout routine, I found myself walking quite a bit. My husband resolved to get in better shape this year, and I want to be a part of it, so we are beginning slow: a walk with the occasional jog around a 2.5 mile loop near our home. And because my dog still expects his 2 mile walks on weekend mornings, and subsequent daily strolls, it all added up to a nice amount of fresh air, which is something I had no idea how much I needed. Walking time is meditation time. Well, unless we see the neighborhood skunk. 

When we began dating almost ten years ago, Chris and I would walk in the fancy-pants neighborhoods in Columbus and talk about what we wanted to do and how we had to make it possible. I've rarely but longingly thought of those walks, and now that we're back at it, I feel that old sensation of optimism and hope I had as a beginning writer and college student. As we discuss our goals nowadays, we are focusing on timing our walks and plan to shave a minute off each day. Small goals are the best goals.

So basically I was just entertained all weekend. And I took a lot of walks. How lucky was that? Now, for a full week of being back to the daily chores/obligations/routines. In the meantime, please send me some good vibes. My short story chapbook is a finalist for the Black River Chapbook Competition at Black Lawrence Press. I tend to be the literary equivalent of always-the-bridesmaid-never-the-bride, so I'll accept my finalist status as my own personal win. But man, I'd love to work with BLP. We'll see.  

I wish you all a wonderful week. Read and walk, if you find the time. Both are curative.  

Wishing You a Happy 2013

I don't know about you, but I am happy to put 2012 behind me. This was a year of dualism, filled with disappointment and pain as well as much that was divine. There were so many horrific events and so much economic difficulty. And yet, this year was also filled with innovation and hope. Communities came together, and, in hard and even impossible times, people lifted each other up.

My 2012, in summary: 

My family faced illness and worry, and we bounced back. I traveled to visit all the members of my family this year. I also went to New York City for the first time to read at the KGB. Thrillingly, I discovered a new favorite writer in Edith Pearlman and found publication of my own short work in two of my all-time favorite journals: Gargoyle (#58) and PANK (as well as many other fine literary venues). I made new friends, and many friends moved away. I made a dent in my student loans, but still have many years to go. The husband and I moved to a larger apartment, where we can actually have our own space. We get along even better now. We both moved up in our positions at work, if slightly. I became very sick and began working to raise awareness about endometriosis in my small way; I was always afraid to write about this illness but no longer am. I became anxious a few times this year but bounced back naturally. I learned to appreciate a little more, cope a little better. I am, I think, on track to being healthier than I've ever been. I didn't write enough, didn't finish my novel, didn't look for an agent; but I am far prouder of what I wrote this year than I've ever been. I know I'm on my way. I've slowed down a bit, but this has helped my writing more than it has hurt. In 2012, for the most part, I did not fight with people who were out to fight. Engaging is losing. I worried over global events (large source of anxiety), but I also found myself in a better position to truly contribute to causes I believe in, to take a stand in my way. This feels good.

In summary, I'm glad 2012 is over and thrilled to begin anew. I have a lot of hope for this new year.

In 2013, I plan to:

1. Have fun, take risks
2. Read more
3. Write more 
4. Give back in the ways that do not drain me
5. Somewhat conversely, say no more often
6. Join a local group of some sort: running, foodies, something other than writing that will fuel writing
7. Support other writers and writing journals
8. Continue to eat better; workout, but know my limits (again, not too much)
9. Finish the novel, finish the novel, finish the novel...
10. Travel more, visit out-of-town friends and family, and make plans to travel out of the country sometime in 2014 (this will take a small financial miracle, but I have hope)
11. Take a real vacation
12. Meditate/relax/don't stress over what I can't control
13. Aprender mucho de azar frases en español y utilizarlos de forma esporádica. En otras palabras, comienzan a estudiar español (correct me if need be... I'm out to learn)

So that's it. I wish you all the best in this new start. We're in this thing together, so I'd love to know your resolutions. Feel fee to share below. Peace. -Jen  

Oh, and...

Happy New Year!!!

Heading to Dallas

If you're not busy Friday morning, come to the Eastfield College Arts & Literary Festival. I'm reading in the morning, which should be interesting for all involved.

http://www.efc.dcccd.edu/al/festival/JenKnox.asp