Becoming a 'big' and taking a break

Writing News:

It took a while, but here's the novel (don't look too close!). I have completed a full, coherent draft. And this is my post-writing outline because I tend to do things backwards. I've tried to write to outlines, but my characters won't let me.

There's still a lot of work to do, but I have 73,400 words that encapsulate the world(s) of six people; two are major characters and all are interesting, I think, even if one will make you want to punch walls. My antagonist in this story is intense. I actually had to shake off her energy after I wrote long scenes with her in them, but hey, she's alive now on the page. I can honestly say that all these characters feel alive to me, though I'm sure they need the right lighting and camera angles before they are ready to present to the world.

I'm tired. I wrote this while working two jobs and battling the most debilitating migraines of my life (still getting them but less often... I attribute ridiculous amounts of water and Vitamin B serum for the reduction). I don't say that to make excuses for the amount of time it took but rather, to really emphasize that I am exhausted. Beat. Put a fork in me, I'm done.

Accordingly, I'm going to take a little time off from my novel and from short fiction, let the ideas simmer and try to think of what my next steps will be. I'm sure there are steps. I know it's sacrilege to take a break from writing when you're not blocked, but I think it might be a good time. I have so much good reading to do. I have the BEST class of my life to teach (these students are amazing... not a lazy one in the bunch, so far). And, I have a few new personal responsibilities to pay mind to.

In the meantime, I do have quite a bit forthcoming: 1. Uno Kudo, a literary arts production featuring poetry, artwork and prose in a beautiful coffee table style format will be featuring a story of mine about two folks in the animal control business who take their jobs very seriously. This publication should be out sometime in fall '13. Here's a link to V1, so you can check out a previous edition. It's an amazing book: UNO KUDO. 2. I have a new chapbook coming out, officially, from Monkey Puzzle Press (home to amazing writers such as Bonnie ZoBell and Meg Tuite). I signed the contract last week, and I'm so thrilled to be working with this amazing press. This book will be out in 2014.

Reading-wise, I've read a few great books. 1. The Magician's Assistant. I love this book. It took me a while to get around to reading it. I find it sweet and tough and sad and beautiful. 2. Beth Hoffman, my friend and mentor, has an amazing new book out entitled Looking for Me. Not only did I read this book, I listened to it on Audible, and it's a lovely experience both ways. I have a gut feeling this story will end up on screen.

Personal News:

My husband and I are becoming a 'big couple', not literally (I don't think). We've decided to volunteer to be 'bigs' for Big Brothers Big Sisters. I'm thrilled/scared/worried/overwhelmed by the idea. We attended orientation yesterday and were shocked to find out that this program has been around since 1903. Anything that can sustain and thrive that long must be doing real good, making real change. I hope we can be of some use and inspiration in a child's life. I really do. We'll see how it goes.

Okay, so off to find out if I can live up to my word and take a break from writing... have a good week!

Sharp turns

I fell off my bike when I was young, around eight. I was pedaling at a good clip on a park sidewalk, but suddenly there was a large crack in the cement and then a step down. I couldn't remember how to break. All I saw was the inevitable until the inevitable happened. It was the ultimate lesson in how to psyche myself out. I lost control at the crack and panicked at the step. I fell, face to concrete. My glasses broke and cut a star into my forehead. A few stitches later, I decided to never ride a bike again.

I mean, what would I really miss? A workout? I could run. Fun? Yeah, not so much. Hanging out with friends? None of my friends had bikes anyway. I could honestly say that I wasn't missing out on much. But rationalizing and calling it logic or no, I knew deep down I was making excuses. Truth was, I was giving up on a thing I'd previously wanted to do.

I was never too embarrassed that I didn't learn to ride a bike, and the older I got the less it came up. It was a self-deprecating story to tell. The story of how I gave up. It'd come up casually then someone would ask, "What? You really don't know how to ride a bike?" And I'd respond, "Funny story! I was eight, and I still have the scar..."

San Antonio, in an effort to offset the amazing, over-indulgent food and slow pace the city offers, instituted a bike sharing program downtown. And for the first time in my life, I've felt a little left out in my inability to join the crowd. So, at thirty-three, I bought a bike. 24", pink, mountain with a low back and shocks (might be the first pink thing I've willingly owned). I went out for the first time in over twenty years last weekend. I went out again today.

How I roll now

Learning to ride a bike at age 33 is probably about the same as it'd be for anyone at any age. Balance takes some time, but can become routine rather quickly. Getting started on an uphill is tough, the adjustment from downhill to up or up to down takes some getting used to. Then, there are the worst: the sharp turns. There's a ramp, sidewalk, turn, bridge deal by my apartment, and it's where I practice. I'm working on my turns.

Who'd have thought? I'm working on my turns after having decided to never get back on the bike, that the thing has defeated me. Might seem silly, but in this woman's world, it's encouraging. If I can ride a bike, I can do something I told myself I couldn't.

Speaking of which, I am getting close to completing my novel, which is another thing I couldn't stop telling myself I couldn't do. No, I thought, I'd get sidetracked. I work two jobs; I have too much to do; I don't have time for such a concentrated effort; I don't have the attention span; I don't have the story. Go figure. Now I do.

I'll be posting updates about future writings and the novel soon. In the meantime, I'll be working and riding. Have a beautiful week!

Well, I made it to Vermont. I am in the company of visual and literary artists from around the world. It's cool to be a minority as a writer here. I have enjoyed hearing about the artistic visions of painters, photographers and sculptors over breakfast and lunch, who tell me about projects that I can't wait to see realized.

I am writing fiction. To finish or at least come close to finishing my first novel. I won't get more specific than that, but so far so good. I'll be here for two weeks, and I plan to make the most of it. VSC is pretty amazing. The people are awesome; the weather is cold; there are dogs; there is a meditation building that I will visit twice a day; there is tea and coffee; there are blankets; there is a goood view from my studio; and for one of the first times in my life, there is time available to me, specifically, to devote to writing. I'm taking it. I've put in two hours this morning and plan to work for the next four. I can't believe how much I accomplished with two straight hours; it made me realize how little time I really am able to devote to writing in my day-to-day life. Okay, so given the rarity, I must go... write... I'll check in again over the weekend. 

This is what I woke up to at 6AM





The meditation building. I was here at 7AM and plan to do the same each day.



The view from my studio

Where I hope to type The End, if only for dramatic effect













Trying to better myself, damn it!

Personal:

In only two weeks, I'll be grading the finals for my creative writing class. I'll miss my students, but the extra time will be more than welcome. Then, gulp, here comes Christmas. How is it that ads, retail displays and even some holiday decorations go up as early as October, and yet the holiday sneaks up on me each year?

Holiday season or no, I am getting so healthy! Okay, not really, but I'm still trying to eat better. If I am what I eat, up to the last few weeks I'd be packaged in thin cardboard and stuffed in a freezer next to the Lean Cuisines.

Along with trying to reduce milk (switched to almond milk and oat milk), I recently bought a single-serve blender so that I can begin tricking myself (and hopefully the husband) into eating more fruits and vegetables. It has only two days, but I think I've already consumed more veggies than I did all last month, so it's working as of now. I bring this up because I am completely romanced by my blender, and now I want to get everyone on my list a single-serve version, which is quite affordable. This thing is magical, people! It's making it possible for me to eat kale without gagging. Point is, if we exchange gifts every year, and you don't want one, I recommend dropping me an email now.

Here's is my first creation:

• Kale
• Spinach
• A few pieces of kiwi
• A few small strawberries
• Broccoli 
• Mango Juice 
• Protein powder
• A splash of oat milk

There were no real measurements.

And the result? Wonderful tasting, but I drank it too fast and felt like a balloon for a good twenty minutes.

In support of a proposed new, healthier lifestyle, my husband went to Green with me today. This is a guy that wants a fried egg, bacon and extra cheese on his burger, and today he ate (devoured rather) his first veggie burger. What a guy! And the best part is, he liked it. I'm hoping I can make this work long-term. I'm never going to be one of those people who does everything right, but I'm on a mission to do all the holistic curative and preventative stuff I can tolerate without letting it keep me from normal outings. I'll let you know how I do, even if I end up reverting to old ways in a week's time.

Writing:

I was invited to submit a piece to Lost in Thought Magazine by the amazing Robert Vaughan, and I'm hoping I can deliver. I have a good start, so we'll see.

I found out a few of my short stories, notably the first three here at Fictionaut: A Glimpse, Soft like Snow, and Getting There, will be taught in a fiction writing course next term. This is the second college that my stories have been taught at, and I'm over the moon about it.

I've thought a lot about Duotrope's new subscription policy. This is a service for short story and poetry writers (and now even for those looking for small publishers for full-length manuscripts) to find journals that meet their individual needs; and more, Duotrope offers a tracking device for the writer's submissions so we don't, oops, submit the same piece twice and not realize it. Not that I've ever done this... Anyway, Duotrope is now a $50/year or $5/month subscription service, as of the first of the year. I've been discussing this a lot, debating the costs and benefits and rationale with other writers, and I've come to the following conclusion: They should charge! Here's why I've come to this conclusion after an initial response akin to oh-hell-no: 1) It's a service, and there are costs associated with said service, so there should be a fee to cover said costs. 2) Writers should read the journals they're submitting to, and programs like Duotrope are designed to allow a writer to bomb the lit industry with his/her submissions without ever having read many of the journals s/he submits to. And, 3.) There are plenty of other places to find lists of literary journals. Check New Pages. Check Poets and Writers. Check other writers' blogs and bios.

Finally, I'm officially shopping my second short story collection, which is a bit more diverse than the first, topically at least. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I've been tinkering with final novel notes, and after my class is complete (the one I'm teaching), I plan to go at that bad boy full force. Maybe my blender and super-power green veggie and juice drinks will be just what I need to finish this damn novel.

Me versus My Novel
or
The Part of my Weekend I Don't Want to Talk About 

Have a beautiful week, all! Do like me, eat your greens!