5 Reasons Not to Travel on Christmas Day

This is a cautionary tale, in list form. It is based on my experience flying from Ohio to Atlanta to San Antonio yesterday, with a three-hour layover. The takeaway here is that I do not recommend traveling on Christmas day. I do not recommend it no matter how cheap your tickets. Here are the top-five reasons why:

1. Multi-baby planes. Let me clarify here: I am pro-baby. And, I empathize with the challenges of the traveling parent. That said, this is a simple equation to consider when traveling. More families are traveling, and this means more babies. Consequently, there's a chance at least one will be crying during any given minute of the flight. And sometimes, two or three will be crying at once. Noise cancelling headphones can only do so much. 
2. The people at the airport DO NOT want to be at work. Before we were greeted for our Christmas dinner in a restaurant in the airport, we heard a five-minute argument about how our server was not going to take any more tables, hell no, because she had to get to Christmas dinner with her family. And a rebuttal something along the lines of, I have a family, too, and I actually got here on time. It went on. 
3. Things are out of stock. I don't think shipments come in on the holidays, so good luck getting your favorite brand of gum or sparkling water.
4. Ukuleles. In my experience, there's a better chance you'll be in the waiting area next to a girl playing the ukulele as her boyfriend rubs her leg.



Image by: William Fisher

5. Bathroom bathers. Perhaps because people are going to meet family or friends/coming from meeting family or friends, it seemed the women I encountered in the bathrooms were more thorough. One seemed to be washing her hair in the sink, another flossing her teeth, complete with the pop-floss-out-of-space-between-teeth projectile action. My husband's experience, however, was far more disturbing. He reported a rather hefty and weathered man with his shirt off at the sink, wash cloth in hand, working on his pits.

So there you have it. It's up to you, but in my experience the cost-benefit ratio of traveling cheap on Christmas day turned out to be a mediocre deal. My family was more than worth it, and I had a magical time in Ohio as evidenced by my previous post. But, I'll be damned if there isn't a cost-efficient alternative waiting for me next year. 

(I'll post about writing this coming weekend. Now, to decompress, relax, and enjoy being home.) 

Broad Strokes / The Poetry of Place

Ohio:

When I think of my hometown, I see the small cow pastures that I would drive by on my way to work, that signaled the edge of OSU’s agricultural school on Kenny Road. It was one of the first roads I ever drove, long and straight, leading from Grandview to Upper Arlington. It was the way to my mother’s apartment, the way to avoid 315. It was the way to Half-Price Books and Caribou, where I first felt the privilege of being a college student with my very own laptop and homework to do. It was the road to the apartment I would share with my husband before he became my husband, when we owned a small blue parakeet—the muse for my first published essay.

Vermont:

The benefit of silence. The mountains were so beautiful that it seemed ridiculous I could awaken to them every morning. The drastic differences, American lifestyles that could sell the dream. Vermont is where I found myself overstimulated as an MFA student, where I studied literature and writing for two years. Here were people who lived in nature, with so little concrete, without loud screaming and sirens and men hanging out car windows asking 'to get that number'. Artists. Trust funds to student loans. Remarkably talented people. ABCs. A professor who asked me how I possibly got in; I never stopped asking myself that same question. (I had catching up to do.) The mountains helped, close and unlikely friendships helped. The beauty of it seemed so distant from me, and yet now a part of my memory—a thing that can’t be taken, memory. Enlivening.

Texas:

Building a life with my husband, working harder than we imagined we’d have to in order to pay off student loans: the next bubble. Texas is filled with memories of Ohio; calls to family. Pictures from Vermont; emails to friends. A community I feel slightly unable to understand. A town hall meeting that condones guns for self-defense. Volunteer work. News stories of border wars. The honor of teaching. The students who amaze and inspire, who constantly challenge.

The longing to go somewhere else, where I’ll better fit; the bills that keep us here. A beautiful family that makes location matter less. A husband, who encourages me to write. Friends who teach me about astrology, fiestas and magic. God peddling couples at my door each weekend. The best food of the three states; a second language; breakfast tacos; a proud town of transients, traditionalists, soldiers, students and those looking for work. A nice stop.

The promise of somewhere new.

Written for "The Poetry of Place" -> hosted by Walter Bjorkman -> language / place carnival