Thursday, December 31, 2009

Guest Post: Welcome Author Lori Newman

Didn’t See That Coming

It was just her and I, and about 90 degrees outside. I didn't want to cook and heaven knows she can't reach the stove. So, the two of us decided a nice cold sandwich made by someone else would just hit the spot; soda and chips on the side, Yummy. I promised her we would even accept a cookie for dessert.

So, off we went to the sandwich shop where they had a working AC and that was the draw for me. Well and someone else would be personally handcrafting our meal that evening.

The ride to subway was pretty uneventful, we made small talk. I asked her how daycare was. What did she have for lunch? What was the one new thing she learned that day?

Her replies, very cute and so thought out. "Good." "That dog on a stick with the red dip." And nothing, I already know everything, mom."

"That's right I forgot." I said.

"Why do I even put you in school if you know everything?" I had asked.

"I don't even know." She replied.

We got to the sandwich place; I helped her out of the car, and we walked into the store, side by side; mother and daughter. I was so proud of her and the way she tried to be so grown up.

I lifted her into the booth, there was a very long line beginning to develop. Apparently I was not the only parent with the brilliant idea of having someone else make our dinner.

I asked her what she wanted on her sandwich. She was stalling. Looking around the store, smiling at people she didn't even know. I brought her back to task.

"Baby, what do you want on your sandwich?"

She just stared at me.

The line was getting very long behind us, so much so the guy in the back was holding the door open and allowing all my precious cool air out.

I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Let's order, what do you want?"

She looked me straight in the eyes, looked at the line behind me, and before I could react, move, flinch, duck…her little hands grabbed me by the boobs and her sound effect, very loud, very deep, boomed a H..O..N..K noise throughout the restaurant.

Oh, WOW. I pulled away. The guy behind me tried so hard not to laugh; snot flew out of his nose from the pressure of not releasing his laughter.

I actually felt bad for him? He looked like he was injured so I gave him permission to laugh in hopes to ease his pain.

I ordered the turkey meal for her and told the maitre d' to hold the cookie.

About the Author: Lori Newman is the author of Here All Along and Contributing Editor of the forthcoming collection Its All Relative~Mothers & Daughters.

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