Computercation

Many things frighten me. I'm frightened by almost everything, at least for a short time. Then, predictably, I grow used to the thing that scared me, and instead, I become bored by it. For instance, I was once scared of computers. I felt inept on many computer programs and so I avoided them at all costs.

And after five (maybe seven) years of regular computer use, it's no surprise that I'm growing--if not bored, restless--sitting at my computer, trying to market this book all the damn time. So, I've decided that I'm embarking on my computer-cation (computer vacation). Wish me luck, I'll need it. I already feel the withdrawal, the looming email collecting in folders, important things that I have to respond to right away... Scarier than Halloween.

So, I'll post Monday or Tuesday, to report on my attempts to follow in the footsteps of King Ludd, and all those who have rebelled against technological change.

In closing, here's a list of helpful Halloween Hints, lessons I've learned over the last week that might make Halloween itself a little less scary.

1. If your ice cream man comes around at 6AM, he's selling drugs. Don't take his free ice cream, even on Trick or Treat night.

2. Don't eat any candy with warning labels. (i.e. - "this might remove a filling")

3. If you're going to dress up, zombiefy your costume, it only helps.

4. Too much candy corn is truly sickening. Even if it's the chocolate kind.

5. Don't dress up like Michael Jackson, unless your going to do a damn-good job on the costume--that rule goes for kids, too.

6. Apples do not count as cady, unless they're candied apples.

7. You're never too old to dress up, only too cranky.

8. If you're going to do like me and be Rosie the Riveter, make sure you don't go into neighborhood with high gang activity, unless you happen to know they're all Bloods.

OK. Signing off here... I'm already shaking. I might have to take up drinking and smoking again without the comfort of these one-sided conversations (I mean "blog entries")

jen

(buy Musical Chairs, if you haven't yet...) Or go here, they're giving them away.

[picture courtesy of last year's "Zombie Walk" in San Antonio]

Office Space

I'm training for a writing marathon. (Yes, I invented this event. And as far as I know, I'm the only contestant.) Here's the plan: I'm going to tear myself away from the Internet (thank you, Facebook, for preparing me), break open the Moleskines and go at it. Other than Halloween, I'll be unavailable. I'll be writing. Since I got rejected from Yaddo, this is my personal, solitary, self-imagined residency. And, I'm thrilled at the prospect. But, I don't know if I can do it.

Maybe I can prepare with atmosphere? No, I'm not going to go so far as scenic wallpaper that recreates Saratoga Springs. But, I need something better than piles of paper everywhere and the three calendars I have haning over my computer, which remind me who I need to email back.

I've read numerous books on writing, how-tos and how-to-do-it-betters. Most of them haven't been too useful, and some actually seem creatively-stifling. I enjoyed Atwood, Bradbury and King's... But the rest of them, well, there's usually one really good piece of advice for each hundred pages. And one such recommendation is that you make time. Another, which comes up repeatedly, is that the author create a comfortable and attractive work space. So, this is my training. I think that if I can make time to do this after work, I will be more than ready for the marathon.

I will have to slowly wean myself off the web. Man, I feel withdrawal just thinking about it.